No I’m not pregnant, thanks for asking.

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I’m back in Ohio with E for Thanksgiving to see my family. I missed this place so much. I never thought I’d say that. But I miss the seasons, I miss going from one house to the next full of family and friends. I miss being surrounded by people who know me, and have known me my entire life. But there’s one thing most of them don’t know…. How hard we are trying to get pregnant.

It’s hard not to break down every time someone says “When are you and E going to have a family?” Or “Are you pregnant?!!” No, no I am not. Thank you for reminding me. So I smile and say something polite and the people that do know wince and hold my hand.

I’ve been slowly telling more people about our struggle. But it’s honestly not something people want to hear about. People want to hear about the good. They have enough stress and problems of their own, they don’t want to be burdened by my problems as well.

We will be back in Ohio next month for Christmas. Maybe just maybe I will have a different answer for my friends and family. That would be the best Christmas gift God could ever give us.