Sending Prayers

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So much bad news on my timeline this morning. While it is comforting to know I am not alone in this journey, I HATE that I am not alone because it means so many amazing, inspiring women are in pain. Everyone has their own path and God has plans for all of us, but I am praying so hard for my fellow ttc-ers  that they do not lose hope and that God’s plan brings them a happy & healthy baby.

I often see women who have been trying for years on end and I can’t help but wonder if that will be me. Will I be in this same spot a year from now? 5 years from now? Will this disease win? Will E & I end up adopting? What is our path?!! I run through scenario after scenario over and over and over. The uncertainty kills me and keeps me awake at night.

I am 1-2 ish days past ovulation and have had the most annoying pain in my left ovary. I am hoping that’s a good sign. But I honestly don’t know at all. I try to read up on all the symptoms along the way, ovulation, conception, implantation but there is no cut and dry answer and my ovaries hate me so I am always in pain as is. Oh add in that my pms symptoms mimic pregnancy symptoms and I am pretty sure I will never actually believe I am pregnant until I am holding a baby. 

Anyway, praying for all you strong ladies out there!!!

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God’s Plan

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A fellow ttc-er’s blog got me to thinking a lot about God’s plan this morning. E and I have a plan for our lives, but that doesn’t mean it’s His plan. And I always try to keep that in mind, but I am impatient and stubborn and I want what I want, when I want it! While thinking about God’s plan and timing, my daily devotional app notification went off at 10am. The above bible verse and image was featured. And just as the verse says, He has given me hope. Maybe this is a sign that now is God’s perfect time and this is our month. Or maybe it mean’s I need to practice my patience for the perfect time. Either way, it was uncanny timing for this specific verse to be featured.